| What the world needs right now is a forty-something year-old bespectacled, bald geezer from Aylesbury, Buckinghamshire who instead of rolling out of bed at 3.00pm and ringing his dealer for his next fix before rattling off a verse of gratuitous poetic violence on his 5-String Guild guitar whilst sitting on his sofa waiting for his celebrity mates to come round, is instead grabbing a bag of fun-sized snacks, bending into his Honda Accord and picking up the kids from school. It’s an entirely new kind of rock n’roll – a rock n’ roll convenient for taking in The Jeremy Kyle Show and This Morning TV, practising your Tai Chi, pruning your roses, grabbing a cappuccino and a muffin at Tesco’s restaurant and doing the school run. But this is how John Zealey prefers it. He says he’s has had enough of smoky pub gigs and changing in the toilets and just wants to write ‘entertaining/functional songs’ for people who care to listen. And he wants to do this via the Internet. Why the Internet? Well it’s ostensibly more labour saving (and economic) than hauling your ass round town every night of the week suffering for your art and making your public a first hand experience. But perhaps when you’ve got little more than a half-dozen punchy, power chords, a punchline from ‘Only Fools and Horses’ and a cabinet full of old Elvis Costello, XTC and Vapours records to revise it’s probably the wisest choice.
Crud caught up with John Zealey ahead of the release of ‘Dave? Funny Name For A Girl’ and just before he had to do the washing-up.
Where are you now? What can you see?
At home, staring at my screen. Above it is a pencil picture of me that my daughter drew with a speech bubble coming out of the mouth that reads ‘I hate this stupid computer! F**K!!’. I think it’s her way of telling me to watch my language.
What was the last thing you ate?
Marmite on toast.
What was the last album you bought?
‘Milliontown’ by Frost*
What was the last movie you saw?
‘The Constant Gardener’ on DVD. (I managed not to kill myself at the end though.)
What are you most looking forward to?
Whatever the next social occasion is that involves either my friends or my family or both.
What do you hate right now?
Bands, hyped to be the next big thing, extremely tight live but no songs. There seems to be bloody hundreds of them. Also, buying an album, only to find there are two good tracks on it, and they were the singles.
What was the last thing you saw that you liked on TV?
The excellent BBC program that Stephen Fry has made about manic depression.
Where or how do you feel most comfortable?
In a pub with a good jukebox, band or karaoke.
What would you class as your most defining moment?
Getting accidentally pushed over by Val Doonican at an art exhibition.
What are your plans for tonight?
Beer, curry, beer and watch a covers band with my mates and then play some tunes. Tour Dates/Release Details
‘Dave? Funny Name For Girl’ Debut single OUT NOW!
Relevant
Sites:
www.myspace.com/zealey
Crud Magazine 2006©
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